I had to get away. I had shown you my heart, and that heart
lay jilted, unanswered. In my logical mind, I know that we can never be. A
station apart. But in my heart? In this boy's heart that I now possess? This
human heart? So frail, it seems, letting me feel things I thought I'd long
forgotten. I had to get away...
I pushed through the door to the studio, the cold air chilling me as I tossed
my sopping jacket on a nearby chair. No one was here, and for that I was
grateful. I ran my fingers through my black hair, still plastered to my head
from the rain. I was cold, wet, miserable, but it didn't matter. I could still
feel your warmth under my hands as I held your shoulders. These hands... These
boy's hands...
Am I not good enough? How is that even remotely possible?
The drums weren't set up right now. This annoyed me, because they were my
instrument of choice when I needed to get out my frustrations. I chose the
piano instead. Banging on the ivories sounded like a good idea, to hopefully
still the din in my head. I don't have Yaten's skill with the keyboard, but I
can hold my own. I began to play, with no real purpose in mind, just the need
to get you out of my mind.
I can still see you there, looking up at me, those blue eyes of yours so large
in your angel's face. Don't you know? Don't you understand? Don't you even see
me?
My fingers slow over the keys. Almost of their own accord, they begin to play a
tune. Not mine, someone else's song, but fitting none the less. And I sing.
"Sayonara ... aishita taisetsu na hito
koboreta namidaga yuki ni kawaru
sayonara ... naiteta kinou madeno boku
shizukani me o tojite
sarigenaku kata o yosete
madobe ni motareta
sukoshi tereta shigusa de
boku wa waratte ita
karuku hoho ni kisu o shite
aruite yuku kimi o
zutto miteta "
I don't understand any of this. The shock at finding you, my Odango, to be the
one with that incredible power. Sailor Moon. But, then again... it shouldn't
really surprise me. I have always been attracted to that glow you carry inside
you. In fact, I suppose I should have realized it before. It's just that you
didn't seem like a senshi. You still don't. You have dreams. You act so...
human.
"sayonara ... aishita taisetsu na hito
koboreta namidaga yuki ni kawaru
sayonara ... naiteta kinou madeno boku
shizukani mewo tozite ...
chi-same no te-buru de
hutari dake no yume o...
mienai mirai saemo
kowaku wa nakatta
hazimete no arubamu ni
ureshisou na kimi o
sotto miteta "
It's funny. Taiki and Yaten saw it coming, even when I did not. They chided me
at first, then they grew angry. Somehow they knew that I was going to fall in
love with you, even when I didn't know it myself. And yet I can't say that it
was a mistake. For in knowing you, I think I've grown. As a person. As a
senshi. As Seiya.
I've grown enough to say that I love you. To accept the fact that this is a
one-sided love. Your heart belongs to another. Our destines are separate. Kitto
ginga ichi mibun chigai na kataomoi da ne. The day is coming in which I will
have to let you go. I have a home, and it isn't here.
But in this heart, this boy's heart, I dream. And it is of you. Your angelic
face. Your clumsy grace that stole my heart.
Odango...
"sayonara ... aishita taisetsu na hito
kimi e no omoi dake wa kitto nokoru
sayonara ... naiteta kinou madeno boku
shizukana yoru dane "